Anxious. Nervous. Is it worth it?
Okay, well I knew that having a revision was a possibility. I know the downside of a lap band is the promise of more surgeries. I am thankful that True Results is performing the surgery at their expense next week. I am not sure what happened with port or when the port flipped. However I do know we are going to fix it next week. I can't leave it the way it is. I know the band worked in the beginning to control the cravings. I have to be smart about it, but it does control the cravings.
I am looking for a classroom for this school year, but I know my surgery may cause issues with this. I also know special education is very stressful and time consuming. I also know that I need to have time to get healthy. I think for this school year I am going to sit on the sidelines and sub teach and focus my after school on my body and making my band work. On the other hand, we need the income and insurance to pay for my health. It's a catch 22. However, Do you know how hard it is to get a job teaching when you are overweight? Principals sometimes treat obese teachers horribly (unless of course they have first hand understanding).
While sitting here wondering if it is all worth it. Something hit me hard this summer. Our family has a membership to 6 flags over Texas. You may have heard about the lady that literately flew off the roller coaster. Some people think it was because of her size. The lady appeared to be my size. My daughter and I had planned on going on that roller coaster. That could have been me. I am dumb enough to ride on rides that I have no business going on. After all the rides all say as long as you can buckle up you can ride. Well, she was buckled up....so what went wrong? I have not been used our membership since that day. I will, I just need my thoughts to settle. I want to be able to go on all the rides next summer! I want to be able to ride them knowing that the restraints will hold me! I don't care to die on a roller coaster.
My friend thinks I should write a book about my health journey. I am willing, but someone else will have to pay for publishing! LOL
Weight loss Journey Bible Verse: Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Matthew 6:25
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
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