the long winter

In previous posts I had mentioned being sick and feeling like garbage since November when I had the flu. I found out from my gyn that I most likely had H1N1 and some E virus. I couldn't remember what the "E" Virus was to look it up when I got home. To make a long story short I was searching Mono for a student today. While reading about it I found its medical name. You may already know it, but yes it is the mystery "E" Virus that my GYN said was acting up on me again. Okay, so I get it now. The swine flu causes lung and tummy problems, cold chills and fevers that last for weeks. The mono reactivated itself and caused even more fatigue and muscle weakness. My iron was never anemically low. I was just down from the Mono. If you have ever had mono you know there is no way for your body to be able to burn fat and now way to survive on just a few hundred calories a day when you are that sick. My cravings were truly from the food being needed to heal my body.

I posted on face book and twitter a couple of weeks that I felt like I could run five miles. That was the first time I felt normally since Thanksgiving.

Now for the hard part, I am better now, but I am still hungry and looking for food. I have never went over 1500 cals in one day. I have however had candy bars and additional caffeine products. Those are not good when you are trying to burn fat.

 I go back to my LB dr. in two weeks. We will see what they have to say. But, it makes since to that the H1N1 and the Mono (enlarged spleen) was causing my food to get stuck in my band, not just the 8.25 cc's that was in my 14cc band. I am so ready to get back on this now that I feel better. Wish me luck! I was able to eat an entire cheeseburger before feeling full the other day. I really don't want to eat like that.

Thankfullness

PCOS patients have a hard time ever having children. I am so blessed to have overcome mine and had my children while I was young enough that my PCOS didn't stop my first two pregnancies at all. It did slow down my third child and cause two miscarriages. I read more and more women with PCOS have not been able to have children. I however have been blessed with three babies.

So how could I have them? For one, it was God's will. The other I never used any type of birth control. I knew since I was 16 that something was wrong. By the time I was 19 I knew if I had kids I had to have them soon. When you figure that from 1998 to 2007 I never used birth control of any kind and only had three birth during those years.

 The last pregnancy was a 10% chance of survival of rate. The dr. put me on Metformin for the insulin resistance and did some test to see if my tubes were open or collapsed. In order to do this inject die into the ovaries and blow air through them. If they are collapsed then this will open them. It also clears the cysts out of the tubes. I lost 60 pounds in three months on the Metformin and got pregnant with twins. (I also started using an ovulation spit tester.)  I lost the twins at 9 weeks. Then three months later I became pregnant again.  After having two miscarriages I did everything wrong in the first trimester. It was God's will for her to com into our world.

Friends, don't give up. pray and keep trying.

Life happens

I am down four pounds in the last three weeks! I think maybe things are starting to turn around. The more think about it the more things make sense as to why I was not loosing weight before.

1. SMALL BITES and WAITING one minute in between bites. I have not been good about that rule.
2. Yes, I have had my share of chocolate since Christmas. 
3. Sodium, everything that I had been eating was high sodium. I am watching this closer.

Three goals for myself over the next week.

1. NO more candy.
2. NO more frozen cokes ( i have had a few lately)
3. Make my food for lunch at home and take it to work. ie. NO processed foods.

This will be difficult time for coming ahead. My husband has taken a job in a different state and I have to stay in this state until the end of the school year. I have three problems with this.

1. I have never been a single mom. 
2. I have never went longer than a week without seeing my husband. ( We have only been apart 30-50 days our entire 14 year marriage)
3. I have to do all of the cooking. My husband has been great during this journey by cooking our meals. 

Okay, well that is enough lists for you. Have a great day! Remember the band is a tool not a magic stick.

Where is my quick fix?

Ugghhh after a year of this I want to eat. I want to really eat. But eating is not helping the process. I am so irritated  I am once again not loosing what they dr. says I should. I am about 30 pounds where I should be in weight loss. I am on feet most of the day at work with no energy left to work out at home. My goal is to loose 60 more pounds by June 1st. ( I know this seems like a lot, but I am behind by 30 pounds already). The only thing I can figure is forget the band and go back to protein shakes for a few weeks. That is going to be hard because I want to EAT! So this weekend I did give in and eat and gained 6 pounds, yes 6. It will take me a month to that 6 pounds. Over eating a chicken sandwich and a low-carb hamburger. My calories on Sunday was 2248. I normally do not go over 1200.

My knees are hurting all of the time again. This also hinders the workout. I just want to loose the weight, be healthier and be done with all of this.

What is even worse is that my BP is higher than what it ever has been. I thought loosing weight was suppose to lower my BP. Instead it has made it higher. I wish I knew what I am doing wrong. I feel like the clinic is giving up on me as well. Okay, enough complaining.