Holiday Food and other ramblings

How to conquer holiday food....well today I ate the icing while someone else  at the cupcake. I never cared much for cake itself, but I love the frosting/icing. Use to, I would have just ate the entire thing, even if I didn't like it.  However, I most likely didn't need the calories.  We will have lean ham and turkey for dinner. Sugar free foods as much as possible...and no bread for me. I have learned to eat my pie without eating very much of the crust. Pickles are always a Christmas favorite at our house and are healthy. The only thing I can't make healthy is the fudge. I am sure I will have way to many carbs to say the least.

I am noticing that sugar tends to feed depression and to much caffeine feeds my anxiety. Christmas tends to lead to depression anyways...so sugar is no no. I keep telling myself that, but I know I will eat more than what I should. I think the following day the kids and I will take a trip on Dart to downtown and take a walk and play at the park on top of the freeway if the weather is nice. The important thing is, whatever we put it, we must use and not store.

Reflecting on the past...

I have noticed that I stopped loosing weight the week I stopped journaling my food intake and my workout time. I had better fix that. I have also learned that yes, I do stress eat. I don't think I realized how much stress eating I was doing in the past. It is time to find a new to relax. My favorite relaxation food was Dr. Pepper, Reeces and french fries. I no longer drink Dr Pepper (other than about once a month allow myself to have one). That is a huge change for me! I can't believe how much I use to drink! This Christmas, there will be no soda pop other than for my mom. My kids have also learned that pop is not the best choice out there. We drink teas, zero cal vitamin water, lemonade and coffee. I took my kids to the QT and my kids picked up water, milk and eggnog. I am proud of them for choosing healthy drinks.

It is that time of month that we are scrapping what is left in our cupboards and refrigerator. Tonight's supper was not the best. We had mashed potatoes, sausage gravy and turkey bacon.

It is hard to eat properly when I don't get a lunch break all of the time. It is very hard to watch, and care for six year old boys and take small bites and chew slowly.  One day I was finishing my lunch as the lapband hiccup came out one of my students says, "Mrs. don't throw up." I have never had that issue in front of my students but that was pretty funny.

This was almost two years ago, while I am not where I want to be, I am better than where I was. Wow! My girls were so little!

I am eating way to fast and food keeps getting stuck. I must get this under control.  Again, this is pretty unedited as I am tired and it is late.

My journey equals one of frustration. The unedited version----you were warned.

Where did my will power go? Oh Sliders foods....you are awful! My favorite foods are all sliders. GRRRRR.

AS the holidays are coming up and of course the time for New Year's resolutions, am I reminded why I started this journey. I went to Goodwill and seen a gorgeous dress, that I should be able to wear by now. Only I still can't.. Two years of being mostly good....and I am about the same size I was two years ago. GRRRRR. Why do I try? The reality...if this is my trying to loose the weight, what would happen if I wasn't trying to loose it.

I don't like being fat, I hate being fat. In order to loose weight, I have to eat less than 800 cals a day. That is hard for a women that loves every aspect of food. From the joy of making it for my family, the joy of the texture and smells of food, to the pride in being able to eat more than ham, potatoes and mac n'cheese I grew up on.

Truth: I am constantly busy and rarely do I get to just sit for ten minutes. I am a professional, mother of three and part time care taker for my mom. I don't have time to work out an hour today. Or even the half hour walk that the LB people say that I need to do be doing. Those people on the weight loss shows are a joke. #1 They live in a nice place and have access to all the healthy foods and cooks to prepare them. #2. They don't have to deal with family obligations. #3 They are somewhat self-centered. If they weren't self-centered then they wouldn't leave their families for three months to go on the show.

My family and I moved to Texas June 2013. When we moved three negative things happened to my journey. #1 I sold my cross trainer, my ski machine and moved into a tiny house where I had no room to workout and lived in a neighborhood that was not safe to walk in. #2. My port leaked all the fluid out of my band and had to be replaced. #3 My stress went up.

I really need my equipment back. However, I am fully prepared and ready to get back on track. My first step will be to read my blog, which stands for my journal. My second step, cook a healthy Christmas dinner. Lean Ham, Turkey, sweat potatoes, green bean casserole with low fat cream soup, sugar free pies, unhealthy potato salad made with Splenda and pies made with splenda and jello. And...of course I will measure my cup of food and leave the rest for my family.

But hey, at least I am no longer gaining weight. The only time I have gained weight was when there was no fluid in my band. It is late and this will post without being edited tonight.